The Middle East: A Simple Guide from a Simple Man

As always, the Middle East in the news. The government of Egypt has been overthrown (again) and the USA is threatening something against Syria. Apparently, the Syrian government gassed some of its citizens. At first, it sounded like we were going to wipe them out. Then, it sounded like we might just block them on Facebook. Now, it sounds like we’re doing nothing.

If you’re like me, you probably don’t know nearly as much about the Middle East as you should. After all, other than occasional lunacy from North Korea, the Middle East is pretty much where all the world’s trouble originates these days. I’ve penned this short primer to help others gain my limited knowledge of this troubling region.

DEFINING THE MIDDLE EAST

What is the Middle East? Well, first off, it’s not continent or a country. It’s actually a bunch of countries, mostly in Western Asia and a tiny part of North Africa. So, the Middle East is actually Western Asia and small speck of North Africa. Understand?

Below are all the countries that comprise the Middle East, along with my brief comments on what I know about each of them:

Bahrain: Didn’t know this was a country. I thought it was a city in Iraq.
Cyprus: Never heard of it. I don’t think we’ve ever attacked it or attacked anyone on its behalf. Thus, it’s safe to assume that 1) It has no oil; 2) It hasn’t attacked Israel; and 3) It isn’t another name for Israel.
Egypt: Egypt is actually in Africa. Did you know that? It was ruled by ruthless dictator Hosni Mubarek who was ousted from power by people who were then ousted from power. Most of what I know about Egypt is from The Ten Commandments. Looks like a bad place. They once had someone win the Nobel Peace Prize. He was assassinated.
Iran: The biggest of the troublemakers. Iran used to be called Persia and was known for its fabulous rugs and house cats. Now, it’s known for political and religious fanaticism and occasional wild threats against countries which could wipe it out in about a day and a half. It’s only modern contribution to society was former president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s embrace of business casual attire.

Iran’s former president may have been nutty, but he made every day Casual Friday.

Iraq: Also known as the 51st state of the United States. Of course, it was once ruled by evil ruthless dictator Saddam Hussein. Now it is ruled by God knows what. Hussein was the kind of well-balanced leader who tried to repel an America military attack by firing rockets at Israel.
Israel: Sort of like the United States’ little brother. It gets picked on a lot but always knows big brother has its back. Like a little brother, it also talks tough and doesn’t hesitate to threaten others. Beloved by evangelical Christians who somehow don’t care that a vast majority of its citizens reject the most basic tenets of Christianity. It has never been ruled by a ruthless dictator, but it has been governed by ruthless democratically elected leaders. Americans aren’t allowed to publicly criticize the Israeli government. Oddly enough, Israelis criticize it openly and often.
Jordan: I don’t know much about it, other than they seem like they’re friendly enough. I just found out the King Hussein died in 1999. He seemed alright to me. I was excited to learn that Abdullah is now the king–until I found out it wasn’t Abdullah the Butcher.

King Abdullah The Butcher of Jordan (I wish!)

Kuwait: They have a lot of oil and a king or emir or something like that. They were invaded by Iraq 20 or so years ago, causing us to kick some Iraqi ass back to Baghdad. Since then, they don’t cause trouble for the U.S.
Lebanon: Beirut was once considered the Paris of the Arab World. During most of my life, it’s been a hotbed for troublemakers. Apparently, it still is, as it is the home base of Hezbollah, a disagreeable group whose sole purpose is the destruction of Israel. Then again, no country is perfect. We have the Westboro Baptist Church. Oddly, though, Lebanon is a democracy–probably because it doesn’t have any oil. Their constitution requires that the highest government officials belong to varied religions. This keeps any one group of loons from taking over.
Oman: Hmmm. They’re too small to cause much trouble, I guess. It sounds a lot like Onan, which makes me giggle.
Palestine: Not really a country, but it used be. That’s one of the big problems over there. They want to be a country again, but there isn’t enough land. So, they fight with the Israelis. A lot of it has to do with the Gaza Strip, which sounds like an exotic dance, but it isn’t.
Qatar: Here’s what I know. The name is pronounced “Gutter.” Sometimes. It has a lot of oil (surprise!), but it’s a tiny little piss ant of a country. They seem to keep to themselves.
Saudi Arabia: It’s a kingdom and also lousy with oil. People wear robes and fabulous head wear. They have a royal family. May be best known as the home country of Osama Bin Laden, the lanky terrorist mastermind who had his sorry ass blown away by Navy Seals. They’re heavy-duty Muslims, allowing religious leaders an official role in the their government. Supposedly friendly to the U.S., but I have my doubts. They remind me of friend who would sleep with your girl friend, and then blame her (not that I ever knew anyone like that or anything).
Syria: Doesn’t seem to get along with anyone, except Russia. It is said that if Turkey and Syria ever go to war, they will fight until the last drop of Iraqi blood. They’ve had a civil war going on for a couple of years now, but no one seems to know who is fighting whom. There may not be any good guys.
Turkey: Turkey is a democracy and has been for some time. It’s almost all Muslim but not Arab. They’re Turks, of course. They’re very sensitive about Armenians, so don’t bring that up around them. They’re best known for their wonderful baths and horrific prisons. A friend of mine went to Turkey and ate a big bucket of cherries causing some sort of severe gastrointestinal reaction.
United Arab Emirates: This isn’t a country but a group of country-like states. They might just be cities. They’re all ruled by emirs and sheiks. One of the sheiks has a horse farm not too far from where I live. I’ve seen him at the race track. Dashing fellow that sheik. The best thing about the UAE is that it’s where former Iraqi Information Minister Baghdad Bob lives.
Yemen: It is the Unemployed Brother-in-Law of the Middle East. It’s real close to running out of oil which would pretty much turn it into the set for the next Mad Max film. They seem fairly friendly with the U.S., as do most impoverished nations. On the other hand, Yemen is a hot bed for terrorists resulting in the occasional lethal drone strike. They don’t seem to mind.

Were you as surprised as I was to find out that Libya isn’t part of the Middle East, at least according to Wikipedia? It sure seems like it should be with all its threats and saber-rattling over the years. The late Muammar Gaddafi (Khadafi? Qaddafi?) certainly qualified as a ruthless dictator. I don’t get it. Let’s just throw Libya in there anyway.

Libya’s late strong man was certainly a bad guy, but the world misses his style.

Neither Pakistan nor Afghanistan are in the Middle East, and we can’t stretch the definition to include them. Remember this rule of thumb: None of the “Stan” countries are in the Middle East.

GOVERNMENT

Middle Eastern countries have a vast array of governments from democracies to theocracies to monarchies to dictatorships. They all seem to have one thing in common: They like to threaten and fight with each or, at the very least, Israel. Generally speaking, they also seem to despise the United States–and we ain’t too fond of them, either.

All Middle Eastern nations brag about their armies who typically provide little resistance to invaders (Israel excepted, of course). They quickly surrender and often join forces with the invaders.

Strong men and ruthless dictators have always been popular. They’re usually fairly despicable, although the United States has been friendly with some of them. The Shah of Iran, for example, was a fast friend of ours. One good thing about these folks is that they are able to keep the religious nuts out of their governments, which is more than we can say for our own form of government. Of course, if you’re like the Shah, you may be unfortunate enough to thrown from power by the religious nuts. That also happens sometimes in our country, but it’s through elections.

Some of the countries follow Sharia law, which is a form of theocracy incorporating Islamic law into the secular laws of the country–or something like that. You may have heard Glenn Beck and others of his ilk decrying the possibility that Sharia law will become the law of the land in the United States. Some states have even passed laws to prevent that. If you voted for anyone based upon that, please consider not voting anymore. Thanks.

RELIGION

If Middle Eastern governments are varied, their religion is not. The countries are predominantly Islamic, with exception of Israel, which is mostly Jewish. I don’t know about Cyprus. Lebanon used to have more Christians than anyone else. I assume that’s still the case.

As we all know, we’re not to discuss religion in polite company, but religion is a big deal in the Middle East. Most of the countries don’t want any religion but Islam. Of course, many Americans don’t want any religion but Christianity, but we are certainly more tolerant, if not any less hateful about it.

Some Americans think all Muslims are terrorists. It’s like people who say all conservatives are racists. Although there may be quite a few who are, the overwhelming majority are not. Facts don’t matter. People believe what they want to believe. It’s sort of like religion.

My son has a close friend who is Muslim, and he seems harmless enough. We have millions of Muslims in the U.S., and I’m reasonably certain they aren’t all terrorists.

We in America talk about radical Islam or Muslim extremists. I’m not sure how you define those terms, but read the Old Testament and take every single rule and law literally. You’ll probably be an extremist.

A lot of the fighting in the Middle East is between Muslim groups. There are Shiites and Sunnis. I don’t know the difference and don’t intend to find out. I have a hard enough time with all the different Christian denominations. Here’s a good guide for you. If your church suggests that you blow yourself up or blow up other people, consider checking out another group.

CULTURE

I don’t know much of their culture. They like soccer, so much so that Iraq once executed its national soccer coach. They also play buzkashi, a game where you throw around a goat carcass (maybe that’s Afghanistan). They probably play cricket.

I’ve never heard any of their music, but I imagine sitars. If they make movies, they’re probably anti-American.

They don’t treat women very well or at least most of the countries don’t. There is a lot of capital punishment (very American, too) and hand chopping (not American). When excited, they randomly fire weapons. Lots of Americans do the same thing.

American flag burning remains popular, too. Throwing shoes is their idea of a cutting edge insult.

ECONOMY

Oil. Tourism for Israel and Turkey. Oh, and don’t forget American foreign aid.

SO, WHAT NOW?

That sums up all my knowledge about this fascinating and controversial region. I have never visited the Middle East and don’t intend to do so. You may visited there or even be a native. If so, you are likely appalled by my ignorance and outright fabrications. Well, too bad. I’m an American, and I don’t have an obligation to learn about every foreign country on Earth. I know a little, and so does everyone else who read this. Just don’t throw a shoe at me.

©thetrivialtroll.wordpress.com 2013

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Whither the Cult of Tebow?

Not surprisingly, the Patriots released Tim Tebow. I doubt this diminishes his popularity among his die-hard fans. If anything, it will give them a brief respite until he resurfaces in the Canadian Football League or among the army of TV talking heads. His release is likely, however, to end the NFL chapter of one of the more bizarre sports stories of my life time.

Tebow’s popularity in the NFL far exceeded his collegiate fame, which was substantial. At the University of Florida, Tebow played on two national championship teams and won the Heisman Trophy. He threw and ran for touchdowns like no one before him. As we have seen in the few years since he left Florida, this may have had more to do with the changing nature of the quarterback position than his unique skills. He was nevertheless an exciting and dynamic presence at Florida.

His Christianity was on full display at Florida, too. He wore Bible citations instead of eye black, prayed on the field and spoke openly of his faith. This, of course, caught the attention of Christians (especially those of an evangelical stripe). Others found this overbearing–even obnoxious. Regardless, we all wanted someone who played like him at our alma maters. As a result, he was a polarizing figure, as is usually the case with popular athletes. Many love them, and many love to hate them.

Despite his college success, Tebow was never viewed as anymore than a borderline NFL prospect. Prior to the 2010 Draft opinions varied. Draft guru Mel Kiper, Jr. didn’t think Tebow could play quarterback in the NFL. Former NFL Coach Jon Gruden disagreed. His best shot, according to many, would be to change positions. His future was brighter as a tight end or H-back. After all, many college quarterbacks have made similar transitions in the NFL. Tebow’s size, strength and athleticism would allow him to do the same.

Tebow had different plans. So did the Denver Broncos who surprised the NFL by using a 1st round draft pick on Tebow in the 2010 draft. Denver’s young head coach, Josh McDaniels, planned to play Tebow at quarterback, and Tebow had no intention of changing positions. He and the Broncos were the perfect match.

I was one of the misguided few who believed Tebow would be an effective, if not star, NFL player. This only proves my inability to assess quarterback play. Several years ago, my alma mater–the University of Kentucky–had an outstanding QB named Andre Woodson. He was big, strong armed and smart. He also had poor footwork and a slow release. I thought some NFL guru would fix that. It didn’t happen. I don’t think he ever took a snap in a regular season game. Even though Woodson and Tebow had many of the same throwing issues, I thought the Broncos got a steal. For awhile, it looked like I might be right.

After a rookie season where he played sparingly, Tebow got his shot as a starter in 2011 under new coach John Fox. With Tebow at the helm the last ten games, the Broncos went 7 and 3. Tebow was hailed as a hero–perhaps a savior, if that is not too insensitive. I felt vindicated until I watched him play. Yes, the Broncos won, but Tebow’s play was wildly up and down. Big plays were followed by inexplicably bad ones–overthrows, misread defenses and just plain bad throws. “He just wins” was the defense. The Broncos opted to sign Peyton Manning, another quarterback who wins, plus makes every throw a quarterback can make.

Tebow then spent one forgettable season with New York Jets where he couldn’t get on the field. When he did play, he was ineffective. His fans blamed Coach Rex Ryan. After his release by the Jets, his old coach Josh McDaniels, now the Patriots’ offensive coordinator gave him another shot. If anyone could make it work, McDaniels and the Patriots could. They couldn’t.

There are 5 QB attributes : size; vision; arm strength; accuracy; and footwork. Of these, arm strength is the least important. Joe Montana didn’t have a cannon arm. Jeff George did. An arm needs to be strong enough. That’s it. The other four attributes can be honed in the NFL but rarely are they ever discovered at that level of play.

Of these qualities, Tebow has one–size. His arm strength is below average as is his accuracy–too many off target throws floated to covered receivers. He also doesn’t see the field well. He holds the ball too long or runs when he should wait for a play to develop. He often throws off the wrong foot and his release is slow and mechanical. By the time he loads up a throw, his receivers are covered.

See how the ball is upside down? That little hitch can be what separates a college and pro quarterback.

Too harsh? No. Professional sports are perhaps the last meritocracy. If you can help a team win, there is a place for you. The need to win is immediate and construction projects are rarely taken on. Even when they are, the time line is short.

I should note that I like Tebow or, more accurately, I like what he appears to be. He seems to be a nice, sincere young man. I don’t doubt that he is a devout Christian. None of that matters in the context of the NFL.

I grew up in the 1970’s. With maybe the exception of Muhammad Ali, the most popular American athlete was a running back for the Buffalo Bills. There were action figures of him sold to kids–my brother had one. He made movies. His games were broadcast on national TV. He made commercials. His name was–and is–Orenthal James Simpson. If you said “O.J.” or “the Juice” everyone knew the player to whom you referred. His name still resonates, albeit for entirely different reasons. NFL teams would line up for the next O.J. They would certainly hope he was a better human being than the original, but most teams would take their chances. As a hard-core fan, I can tell you that I would rather have a team full of O.J.s than good people who can’t play.

(It is possible to so rotten a person that no NFL will want you, but it takes some doing. Just ask Tebow’s former Florida teammate, Aaron Hernandez.)

On the same day Tebow was cut loose, Vince Young and Matt Leinart were also released the same day. They were also college stars and “winners.” NFL quarterbacks? No. They just aren’t good enough. They faced the same fate as Tebow. This is where some Tebow fans will disagree with me.

Tebow fans fall into two categories. One is the run of the mill football fan, those who like players who wear the correct uniform. If you’re a Jet fan, and he’s a Jet, you like him. The other group is those who liked, even loved, him because of his religion. To this latter group, Tebow was more than a football and to be judged on something other than his skills. This mushroomed Tebow’s popularity above that of the typical NFL player.

Tebow is hardly the first devoutly religious professional athlete. For example, Sandy Koufax refused to pitch on Yom Kippur. Since this predated evangelical Christianity’s current embrace of Judaism, he was hardly lauded for this stance. Akeem Olajuwon drew questions about his observance of Ramadan while starring in the NBA. Muhammad Ali drew much flak for his conversion to Islam. Make no mistake, it is Christianity, not religion, which helped elevate Tebow above his peers. This is where Tebow is different.

There is a strong feeling among many that Tebow should be a good quarterback. Good people should do well. One need look no further than another Florida quarterback to see that it doesn’t work like that. Danny Wuerffel was Tebow before Tebow. He played at Florida. He is a devout Christian. He won the Heisiman Trophy. He also tried for years to succeed as an NFL quarterback. Wuerffel was never more than a journeyman back up. That doesn’t make him a bad person, of course, just a bad quarterback (at least by the exacting standards of the NFL).

Christians, like most religions, embrace persecution. To be persecuted means that you are sacrificing of yourself for God. We like that. It makes us feel better. It was easy for Christians to view Tebow as being a victim of persecution when he was criticized. If a TV analyst said Tebow’s release was too slow, that analyst was wrong. People even suggested that the Broncos won under Tebow because of God’s intervention. When Vince Young, a star college QB with similar limitations, had the same success early in his NFL career, no one attributed it to God or even Young, for the most part. Good defense and good luck were Young’s allies. If anything, Young may have been persecuted. Why wasn’t God on his side?

Tebow’s Christian fan base is perhaps unique in sports. This is a group otherwise unconcerned with sports who cheer for him as though he was the first Christian to play pro sports. Social media exploded with posts about Tebow’s greatness. “He just wins” was the excuse for any of his poor play, as though the Broncos’ smothering defense drew its strength from Tebow’s mere presence. I knew folks who didn’t know who John Elway is who became rabid fans of Tebow. His jersey became the NFL’s best seller.

All of this was unfair to Tebow who has never seemed all that impressed with himself. He just wants to be a quarterback in a league with no patience. His best–and probably only–chance of making it in the NFL now is at a different position. At this point, he is unwilling to do that. That’s fine, and I can’t say that I blame him. Football is a hard way to make a living. One might as well have lofty goals.

So, what now for Tebow? As football fans know, he faces a tough road. Once a player is released, he joins the vast sea of players looking for a team. Young, Leinart and dozens of other borderline players are his competitors but without the media circus that comes to town with Tebow.

Even Tebow’s most zealous fans must accept this: He wasn’t cut because he’s too good a person or a Christian. The NFL is chock full of Christians. In fact, I’ve never heard of a team releasing a star player because he was too nice. It didn’t happen here, either.

That said, I would be remiss if I didn’t recognize that some take great pleasure in Tebow’s struggles, some because they just don’t like the teams he played on. Others, in truth, dislike his religion and his display of it. Even a cursory trip through social media will show people taunting like Edward G. Robinson in The Ten Commandments (“Where’s your God, now, Moses!?!?!?”). Those are the likely the same folks who take pleasure in the failure of others as though it were actually a success for them.

If you are true Tebower, I suggest you take heart. If Tebow’s calling is truly a higher one, he will find a better stage. One can easily envision him on television pontificating about college or NFL football. I suspect he’ll be fine. I’m not so sure about his fans, though..

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Acorns, Bombs and Guns: The Falling Sky

Chicken Little once famously declared “THE SKY IS FALLING!” Of course, he (she?) was wrong–it was an acorn. Sadly, Chicken Little terrified his barnyard companions until they sought shelter in a fox’s den. Only the unfortunately named Cocky Locky survived. The lesson? It was a freakin’ acorn, you moron. Now, Ducky Lucky, Henny Penny and the rest of your friends are dead meat–literally.

We can all agree that Chicken Little was a damn moron. Plus, he was a chicken. Chickens are filthy and disgusting. Why the hell would the other animals listen to one of them, anyway? Now, you probably think I don’t eat chickens, but I do. Why? Because I want to. They’d eat me if they could. Where was I? Oh, yeah, Chicken Little.

(By the way, I have an idea for a post about chickens. I’m not sure the public is ready for it.)

We Americans have much in common with Chicken Little. I’m not saying we wallow in our own filth and stink like hell, although some of us surely do. We do, however, get hit with the proverbial acorn and then scurry about the national barnyard in a panic.

Our latest acorn is the Boston Marathon Bombing. Here’s what we know (or think we know): Two brothers born in the Caucasus region of Russia are alleged to have detonated homemade bombs at the finish line of the Boston Marathon on April 15, 2013. One of them is dead and the other is hospitalized. Since these two were identified, here are just a few of the things I’ve heard from folks, most of whom I consider intelligent (my comments are in red) :

These guys should have been sent back to Chechnya. First, Chechnya isn’t a country. Second, when would we have sent them back? One of them has been in the U.S. since he was 8 years old.
The FBI had been asked to check out the older brother. It’s the FBI’s fault. How do we know the FBI didn’t check him out? There’s no law against being sketchy.
Pressure cookers aren’t designed to be used as bombs. No shit? All this time, I thought KFC was a terrorist front.
All terrorists are Arab. Ahem, Chechnya is not an Arab region.
All terrorists are Muslims. Timothy McVeigh, Terry Nichols, Eric Rudolph, Ted Kaczynski–Not Muslims.
Muslims are dangerous and should be watched. Some are. So are some Christians, Jews and atheists. There are 2.5 million Muslims in the U.S. If they were ALL terrorists, don’t you think we’d notice the constant terrorist attacks? The last time we demonized an entire group of people, we put them in interment camps. No one looks back at that with pride.
No one is safe!! Technically, that’s true. The U.S. has 15,000 or so homicides a year. You can’t really call that being “safe,” but it begs a question: If terrorists are responsible for three of those, who’s killing the other 14,997?
We can’t try these terrorists in civilian courts. Why not? We have a great and fair legal system. It affords the accused many rights but also arms the government with ample resources to prosecute crimes. We become outraged if American citizens aren’t afforded these same rights when accused of crimes in other countries.

Here’s what appears to have happened in Boston. Two followers of some radicalized version of Islam took it upon themselves to build homemade bombs and blow up people. They succeeded. The Muslims in our country aren’t all banded together to destroy our way of life. Relax, Chicken Little.

These weren’t criminal geniuses. They learned to make bombs on the Internet. You can, too. You can also get helpful advice from a book called The Anarchist Cookbook. It wasn’t even written by a Muslim. It was published in 1971. My brother owned a copy.

We also have acorns bouncing off our heads over gun control:

People don’t need ANY guns. Perhaps that’s true, but it’s irrelevant. The U.S. Constitution protects the right to own guns.
You’re wrong! The Constitution only allows a “well-regulated militia” to own guns. No, I’m right. At least that’s the U.S. Supreme Court says.
I must have a gun to protect my family. Where exactly do you live? I’d like to know so I don’t move there.
I must have a gun to protect myself against the government. Which one? If you mean the U.S. government, good luck with that. Have you seen the firepower of the U.S. government?
Well, I have other good reasons to own a gun. You well may, but here’s the deal: You don’t need a reason. You can own one just because you like guns. Hell, you can even own one for the sole purpose of wanting to shoot someone with it.
The Second Amendment is bad. Let’s get rid of it. Interesting take, but here’s your problem–and it’s a big one–it’s very difficult to amend the Constitution. That’s a good thing. It keeps us from tearing it apart with knee jerk reactions. If you can’t get a few guns law passed, your chances of amending the Constitution are less than nil. Move on to something that’s at least possible.
Expanded background checks are the beginning of a police state. No, they aren’t. If that’s true, let’s just get rid of ALL background checks.
If we pass new gun laws, the government will come and take our guns. The only way that can happen is if the government decides to ignore the Second Amendment and a host of other Constitutional rights. If that happens, a few new gun laws will be the least of our problems.
We don’t need new gun laws, because criminals won’t obey them. That’s probably true. Law-abiding citizens obey the law, and criminals don’t. That axiom applies to all laws.
Guns don’t kill people. Again, that’s true. It’s also true that Sarin gas, rocket launchers, grenades and flamethrowers don’t kill people, either. You need a better argument.

The truth is that a few new gun laws won’t hurt us. Who knows? They might even help. I doubt we’ll find out any time soon. My advice? Relax. We have a violent country full of people who like to hunt humans for sport. If you’re one of them, you’ll still be able to get a gun. If you’re a law-abiding citizen, you’ll also be able to get one. If you’re on the other side of the debate, think of this: If you’re right and over 90% of the public wants stricter laws, there will be political backlash. Count on it. Relax.

Bombs and guns. Terrorists and criminals. Law-abiding citizens and victims. Black and white. Acorns and the end. We live in a world now where we can get real-time news reports. During the pursuit of the Boston bombers, you could follow it almost moment-by-moment on Twitter. The news of the world in 140 characters. That’s how we think now. We hear something, and it requires an immediate response. There’s no time to think.

Perhaps this is why there is a visceral reaction to everything now. We color it black or white. I suppose a lot of things are black or white, but those aren’t colors. There are a lot of colors out there. Take a look at the world and you’ll see them. The same thing applies to the big issues of the day. Maybe they’re black and white. Maybe not. It’s at least worth looking at them long enough to tell.

We are an odd people. Most of us, regardless of political leaning, are proud Americans. We love our Constitution and cherish our rights. But, when we thinking the sky is falling, we’ll gladly give up those rights in order to assuage our fears. Could it be that this is the reason that people–whether terrorists, politicians or our friends–try to scare us with the black and white of the world? Maybe the fox tossed that acorn at Chicken Little.

Now, back to acorns. An acorn hit my head once. It hurt–a lot more than you’d expect. It actually raised a knot on my head. So, I’m not saying that terrorist attacks and gun control aren’t painful topics. They are. Just don’t confuse them with a hunk of the sky. The fox awaits.

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